Mom Guilt 101: Allergy Edition
Mom guilt is way too real and with allergies added into the mix it’s even more so. It’s present in the smallest of things like breakfast at home, dentist visits and even where it normally shouldn’t be like birthday parties and holidays. I feel like I’m always worrying that Musa is feeling left out and resentful since so many parts of our lives are food centered.
Coffee is always a must!
At home, I try to make as many allergy friendly meals as I can but that isn’t always possible. So then I feel guilty eating a meal that Musa can’t have and I hate telling him he can’t have it (even though there’s always an alternative for him and he may or may not care enough that he can’t have it). At school, the days he takes lunch to class he has to sit on a table separate from his friends. He always comes home asking why he can’t just sit with them. He used to be able to sit with his friends until they started sharing foods. Funnily enough, his friends loved the lunch he brought! Still, we decided that it was safest to keep them apart. Cross contamination is as easy his friends grabbing a chip from Musa’s bag after having touched their own lunch. After lunch, though, he can go back by his friends for the duration of the class.
I always wonder if this guilt thing will get easier as Musa gets older and can better handle the allergies on his own? Or when/if he outgrows anything? Will he be able to understand why he has allergies when a majority of his friends and family don’t? On the other hand, it’s important for him to learn that he needs to ask about foods before he eats whether it’s at home, school or anywhere…but I just can’t help feeling bad saying no to something so basic as food. I guess only time will tell. Until then, we will focus on what’s more important- building forts, going on nature walks, coloring, playing Candyland and everything else Musa and I love to do together.